Goings on.

I have sat down at the computer umpteen times over the last few days with the determination to produce at least a brief post....either a wee one is suddenly in desperate need of my help or I feel guilty thinking about the state my house is in, etc and shut it off. Seldom do I post any more because ...well, you know, life is busy, but I am anxious to get at it again. It's important to document and I vow to try and be better.

Here are some random quick thoughts and happenings:

-The twin lovelies haven't been terribly well, just a horrid cold that is causing many sleepless nights...6 to be exact. I thought I was coping with the sleep deprivation fairly well until yesterday, then it hit me hard and I felt my feet dragging all day. By the late evening I cried it out. Sometimes I figure it's best to join when the babies are having a good bawl.

- Jack is learning to read. It's wonderful seeing him light up when he recognizes a word in a book we are reading. Peter is learning along with him and is actually the one giving Jack a prompt if he forgets a word....he says, "Great job buddy!", whenever Jack gets one right. I am really loving the great best friend relationship they have.

- A couple of weeks ago I started exercising everyday. I don't really care to discuss the details of this because it's kind of boring, but I wanted to note my absolute favourite part which comes at the end of the work-out. Without fail Peter will say, "You did it Mummy? You're finished?! YIPPIE!" His voice is so excitable, it is just about the funniest thing ever.

- The twin lovelies are 5 1/2 months and just wonderful. They are sitting (although still a wee bit wobbly), rolling everywhere, standing against furniture, and killing themselves laughing at all the mental things my wee boys are doing. Olive particularly enjoys watching the boys have a good wrestle and gets a kick out of seeing Jack jump...she may not be so mellow after all.

- Ryan got to argue a case at the supreme court in Salem, Oregon last month. We were very proud of him...he did a really good job. I, however, was a basket case of nerves as I watched the recording of it online. I was pretty annoyed at one judge that was trying to challenge Ryan a lot, but, of course, that's what they do. It wasn't exactly personal or anything, but I was definitely feeling defensive as I watched it. Ha!

- I said in a post not to long ago that I was "finding myself" again and coming out of the "initial haze" after having the babies. I was really kidding myself. The reality of my new life has been slowly creeping up on me....and let me say this, I truly love this family of mine, but life has become completely, totally, and utterly overwhelming at times.

When the babies were almost 2 months old a dear sweet lady from my ward who had come to help me a number of times made a very innocent comment that catapulted me into a place that really had me struggling and panicked. "The babies are 2 months now, so you should be totally fine now, right?", she said.

I'm pretty sure when I replied with a confident, "yes", I was trying to convince myself more than her that I'd be alright. But I was secretly dying off inside. I don't like the idea of being needy. Really though, most people don't, it's not like I'm the first mother to think I can take on everything and anything.

While I was pregnant with the twins I committed to myself that I would accept the help of those that offered it. Everyone told me that the one piece of advice they could give me was to let people help. So, I did. Most people that offered never actually followed through....that's fine...people have lives and are plenty busy. I had some dear friends that were so kind and helped a lot particularly with the boys. But I also had expectations for myself and I thought I'd be pretty much back to "normal", what ever that is, and taking it all in my stride within a matter of months. I really wanted to just do it all myself again and be successful at it. And I kinda don't think that's such a bad thing either. I mean I have 4 wee kids and I'm their mum, I need to figure it all out and get adjusted to it soon enough. But, goodness my expectations were high! I absolutely thought I was capable of getting everything taken care of around my house every day, that I'd have wonderful positive relationships with everyone, and I'd be a fun, creative mum to my wee lovelies.

To make a long story short, it's taken me longer than it probably should have to learn the need to be more patient with myself. Reading and studying from some of the best books and exercising have been key to my current sane state of mind. Ha. It's going to take many years before I feel like I've got a handle on things around here, but I am making more confident strides towards getting there.

Christmas 2011

Our Christmas holidays were very busy, but really lovely. These wee gorgeouses are just growing too fast for my liking. But it was so wonderful seeing their wee curious eyes light up as they gazed at their big brothers who were going bonkers over the excitement of all the Christmas festivities!

Olive is truly the sweetest wee girl.

And Penelope, you are pure dynamite I tell you!

A rare picture of me with both my girlies. And once again I look flippin' exhausted. One day I hope to look half decent and not utterly disheveled.

We had Ryan's parents(who drove from Wyoming), his brother Mitch (who had flown in from Florida), and Callie and her husband, Josh, with us for the weekend. We started off with a new tradition I stole from a lady at church on Christmas Eve, a "Shepherd's dinner". We laid a blanket out in the living room, read the scriptures that told of the shepherds on the eve of Christ's birth and the ate basic finger foods which may, or may not, have been kinda similar to the foods that shepherds might have eaten whilst in the fields. It was a lot of fun and Jack and Peter really got into it, so I fully intend on continuing it every year. Jack couldn't get over the fact it was like we were having a picnic but inside!

After the dinner and chocolate mousse (that was a success this year!), we let the boys open their p.j's and get into them before we headed out to look at Christmas lights in the fancy neighborhoods. Peter got spiderman jammies and Jack got Batman ones that were unfortunately a tad too big. He got pretty upset about it, but after a wash they aren't that bad at all.

Christmas morning wee dearest Penny decided that she was going to wake up at 5:30am and she wasn't in the slightest bit interested in going back to bed. Since I knew we'd have a lot of adults trying to get in the shower in a few hours before Church, I decided that since we were up I best just get myself ready. A couple of hours later the boys were awake and a few of us gathered in the boys bedroom before going upstairs to see what Santa had brought.

Both boys were spoiled and got really nice presents from Santa, family, and friends. Their big presents were a bike and a scooter. It was a chaotic morning, and I really loved taking a wee break and heading out to church for an hour to get away from the madness and focus on the most important part of why we were celebrating.

The dinner turned out delicious with some help from Liz. We had a honey glazed ham, brussel sprouts, roast potatoes, rolls, wee sausages wrapped in bacon, stuffing, and sparkling apple cider. I felt very homesick throughout the day and wished so badly that I could have been with my family too...I hope to go over one year for Christmas, it's been 7 years since I've spent it with them.

Ryan and uncle Mitch took the boys outside for a few minutes to try out their new pressies...Jack fell off his bike almost immediately and started crying that he would never go back on it EVER again. Thankfully that lasted about a minute and then he was back on riding to his hearts content. Peter even got a wee shot too.

And here are my wee lovelies in their new dresses that cousin, Madeline, sent over in the wonderful Christmas crackers she made for us. So beautiful.

A wee photo of all of us...I know Pete is t-shirtless and I should have put one on him, but this is how he runs around most nights and I want to remember that about him :)

And lastly, Ryan reading Each Peach Pear Plum to the wee ones before bed, I should have tried to squeeze Penny in there too.

Nov/Dec 2011

Usually we go and cut our own Christmas tree down; I do really love this tradition. However, with the babies having a wee bit of a cold and life being generally chaotic we opted this year to get one from a boy-scout troop that was selling them by the side of the main road. We'll resume the tradition next year. We payed a little more than we normally do when we cut it ourselves, but really it was still VERY cheap and the tree is quite beautiful. I justified spending a little more in knowing the money was going to a good cause.

We also started the tradition of getting our tree the day after Thanksgiving. This may be a little early for some, but really I just can't get enough of a Christmas tree and all the gorgeous wee sparkly lights, so the longer we can have it up the better! This year Liz drove out from Wyoming to spend Thanksgiving with us...she was actually here last year too. Chris had to work the day after and so it didn't seem worth it for him to come. The boys absolutely loved decorating the tree, although Peter got a wee bit crazy and kept taking the baubles off to then re-put them back on..and off and on again.

After Ryan helped Jack top the tree off with the star, we attempted to take some family pics in front of the tree for the calendar I make every year. It was a bit of a nightmare. We ended the night keeping up Ryan's family's tradition of eating donuts and having hot chocolate..completely delish.

My mum sent the boys 2 Advent calendars each! Lucky devils. They have been in chocolate heaven every morning after finishing their breakfast at lightening speed as to get to their chocolate faster. We also have a felt one I purchased from a friend of mine in our ward who makes them. The wee ones can hardly contain themselves as they count down the days. Jack is way more excited than ever and very concerned that the elves might be watching and tell Santa if he isn't behaving. Unfortunately, he still fights with his brother. It only after he's got a few good punches in that he starts to panic slightly that Santa might find out.

We went to Ryan's work party on the 3rd. It's always at the Lake Oswego golf club, which is pretty fancy. The food is incredible and Santa pays a visit giving all the kiddos a really nice gift. In previous years Ryan has asked Jack a month ahead of time if he's going to sit on Santa's knee. Of course, like the vast majority of children Jack has always been terrified and wouldn't go near him. We didn't push him at all and either Ryan or myself would collect his gift. This year Ryan again asked if Jack was planning on sitting with Santa to receive his gift. Jack was adamant that he wouldn't be sitting, but that he would go up and collect it. That seemed like huge progress to me! After watching a few older children sit with Santa, Jack seemed to be getting nervous that Santa had forgotten about him. He suddenly stood up and starting raising his hand and trying to make eye contact with Santa to let him know he was still waiting..it was so funny.

Then Peter's name was called. Ryan and I could not believe our eyes when we saw Pete literally launch himself right onto Santa's knee. He only stayed for about a second...long enough to claim his gift and then he was off-ski! It was hysterical. Jack was called next and guess what?! He also thew himself onto Santa's knee! I guess he wasn't to be outdone by his wee brother! They both got great batman toys and immediately wanted to go home right away after Santa left:)

The babies turned 4 months on Dec.19th . They look so big to me and Penelope is rolling all over the place....Olive not as much, but she's getting there. She's way more mellow and relaxed, but that's how peter started out and he's crazy now. They are lovely wee smilers and started laughing just yesterday too. They're pretty great.

Dear Penelope

Bebe girl, I am crazy about you! You are such a dainty wee thing, weighing a pound less than your sister at 11 lbs 11 oz and measuring 22 1/2 inches in length. You are very fond of your twin sister. Sometimes when you are crying in your cot at bedtime, simply placing olive a wee bit closer to you so you can touch her silences you immediately. It's one of my favourite things seeing you both sleeping side by side, breathing softly together. Unfortunately, you are still not the greatest sleeper at bedtime, but you are definitely improving and managed to stay in your own bed last night for a record 6 hrs. Usually you wake around 4am and spend the rest of the morn snuggled next to me feeding a little. I do treasure those little moments when I get to spend one on one time with each of you wee girlies.

I often call you my little madam because you are very strong-willed Missy. No tears, just full on screaming when your patience has run out. Your big brother, Jack, is really wonderful at comforting you. He sings lovely lullaby's and rocks you gently. He calls you his baby because we tell him how much you look like him. But generally you are the happiest baby around, bar your sis of course. I am constantly telling your brothers and dad to look at your beautiful wee smile; I can't believe how cheery you are.

You are very strong; both your wee neck and your legs...I feel like I'm barely holding you up half the time. It's your fav to be up on my shoulder checking everything out. In fact the other day we sat you in the bumbo next to us at the dinner table and I have never seen your wee eyes so wide! Just taking it all in. I have a suspicion that you may be an early walker like your brothers.

You smile the biggest when you are gazing at the fan in our living room, your new cute nickname is Elope thanks to big brother Pete, and relaxing in one of the baby swings lulls you to sleep within minutes.

I sure adore you sweet babe.

Love you,

Mum. x

Dear olive

oh my wee lovely one, I can't tell you how much I simply adore you already. I can't control myself when it comes to those delicious cheeks of yours. At your 2 month mark you were a whopping 12 lbs 11 oz and 23 inches long, but I'm sure you've already piled the pounds on since then and unbelievably you'll be 3 months tomorrow! Stop growing so fast little beauty! I really love getting to know you; learning all your little habits and quirks.

Your good dear friend is Waterhouse's Lady of Shalott. She hangs on our living room wall and every time you are any where near her your whole face lights up and you can't stop grinning. It's very funny. Another wee pal of yours is your big brother Peter, interestingly enough you are his mini female lookalike. He really enjoys rubbing his head on your belly and although you get a slightly nervous, scared kinda look for a second, you get a pretty big smile on your face when he lifts his head and kisses your cheek.

You are a wonderful sleeper. The first and beginning of the second month you slept for about 4-5 hrs at a time during the night and now you are out for a full 8-9 hrs...it's incredible. Thank you darling!

Eating is very important to you, which is very clear from those little chunky rolls of yours. You gnaw on your wee fist to get my attention for a feeding and even though you are definitely the more mellow twinnie, you are getting a lot more vocal and wriggly. You are very content and happy sitting with Daddy in the rocker, conk out in a minute when you're in the car, love snuggling with me in my bed after you wake up each morning and you are a big time grunter! Granny always knows when I'm holding you when I talk to her on the phone, that's how loud you are!

I love watching you grow baby A, you smell so sweet.

Love you,

Mum x

Dear Peter

You are one very independent 2 year old Mr! You have me ready to pull my hair out one minute and then laughing hysterically the next. What a wee nutter you are. I'm pretty sure you're a wee genius too though, hehe. You are a brilliant talker already and your vocabulary is growing everyday. Granny in Scotland is already amazed at how much clearer your words are and how much better your sentence structure is since she was here in September. I'd have to agree. Life is sometimes easier now that I know exactly what you're saying, but wee man...you are a handful too for that same reason!

You became a big brother to two lovely wee girls that you completely adore just 3 months ago and I'd say you took all the change rather well. There were a few times when you were a tad jealous and told me I was not allowed to feed the babies, but you really love to hold them and walk around singing, "olivepenny, olivepenny", strung together like it's one name...pretty cute. If you don't say "penny", you say "Elope", which I just adore.

Phoning Granny in Scotland to talk to her about "Spidiman" and "Vedom" (we all get a laugh out of how you say them, especially Gandpa McArthur) is a favourite activity of yours. I'm pretty sure Granny loves it too. You dress up as Spiderman a lot and have a fistful of action figures with you most the day. You refuse to go to sleep without all the spidermen on the dresser by your bed...it's a wee bit of an obsession. In fact, Sister Osborne at church, who adores you and you her, keeps Spiderman toys aside until you arrive at nursery! How nice is she?!

Jack is your favourite person in the world, but you're kinda into wrestling and fighting with him too; it's a love/hate relationship. I'm not really sure who you play with consistently at church, maybe no one at this age, but you have wee play dates with Zeke O'Brien occasionally and you really love Joey, Haylee and Katie Stock.

You know almost all the letters of the alphabet and can count to 12 before getting lost in the teens. Jack's favourite colour is green, so you decided blue was yours. You are really fond of Ranch dressing, ketchup and McDonalds...great, I know, a proud mummy moment. But what I love about you is that, unlike Jack, you will eat all your veggies and never complain about any food I make...you eat anything and everything and usually store it in your cheeks while you take another bite.

Colouring all over the kitchen table, window sills and windows with crayons is a frequent find when I nurse your baby sisters and Jack has left his crayons out, but you always say sorry in the sweetest wee voice that it's hard to stay too mad.

Jack may be the double of your Dad as a wee boy, but you are the double of him as he is now! I love it.

You are so loved Petey Pie,

Mum x

Dear Jack

Just a wee note to record a bit about you at this ripe old age of 4...hehe. I say that because lately you've been getting a little bit annoyed at me when I try and explain anything to you. Your favourite one liner is "I know Mum! I'm the big brother remember?!" Hmmm, cheeky :)

You are a wonderful big brother,Jack. Can you believe you have 3 younger siblings already?! Because I can't. I still think of you as such a wee thing and then I look at you and I'm blown away by how big you are getting. According to your "Incredible Hulk" measuring chart you are 3 feet 6" tall and you weigh 38 pounds. Nice growing!

You were fairly obsessed with Sharks a while back and are still a complete pro when it comes to naming the different species. I'll need to test you again,but I think you know at least 20 or so. Your memory for things that interest you is incredible. But when you aren't interested you sometimes have a difficult time concentrating and staying focused..I'd say that's fairly normal though,right?

Presently, you are super hero mad! Batman, Spiderman,Captain America, Wolverine, the Ninja Turtles....you like them all, but those are a few of your super favs.

Your best friends are Peter and Joey Stock. You are friends with Carson Shewell and Ruth Dalton too. You go to Joey's a couple times a week and have loads of fun,even more when Haylee(Joey's big sister) gets home. In fact, you told me yesterday you wished you had a big sister like her. Cute.

You love to draw and colour,especially after the Sacrament is passed at church. I really like the pictures you draw of your baby sisters. You participated in your first primary presentation last month and you made me so very proud. Your part, that you had memorized was, "being confirmed and receiving the Holy Ghost." I loved every minute of watching you up there, it was really special for me.

You make fantastic forts with the cushions from our couch, your lego spaceships are sensational, holding olive and penelope brings an enormous smile to your face, and giving your dad "squeeze hugs" are a favourite part of your bedtime routine.

Your favourite food is spaghetti, but you enjoy a tasty chicken leg (or chicken on a stick, as you call it) and a sweet pickle very much too.

You think I'm super rich and want me to buy you every toy at the "red store" (Target). You love going there to persue the toy aisles.

Thank you for being patient with Peter. He is still really struggling with learning to share, but you let him play with your toys and share more than I know you'd like.

You are much more independent since I had your twin sisters and I am so proud of the great helper you've become too. You are a sweet and very sensitive wee boy, Jack, and your Dad says you really remind him of how he was as a little boy. You look just like he did when he was wee too, that's a very good thing!

I love you,

Mum. x