April thus far

April has been a fairly slow month for us so far. And even though these wee lovelies of mine (okay, mostly olive) are beginning to learn how to crawl and causing a little bit of chaos every once in a while, I have finally found my "swing" in this life of mine...dare I say it?! It's quite a glorious feeling actually.

Easter weekend we learned the sad news that a young 12 yr old girl who grew up in our ward, but had moved with her family to Ohio last year, had tragically died due to an accident at home. I didn't know their family of eight very well, but I cried so much every time I thought about it or heard more details. Having my own children seems to have heightened my emotions when it comes to the devastating loss of a child. I think about how I might cope if I was the grieving mother...but I can't even bare it for a minute...my heart is breaking for her; for them all. The calling I received a few weeks ago is to teach the 12-13yr old Sunday School class. The majority of my class knew the young girl who passed away. As horrific as the whole circumstance of the death was, I was grateful that of all days, I could talk to my class about it on Easter Sunday, there was a special spirit in the room as those youth shared their memories of sweet Elizabeth. I love my new calling already, the youth in our ward are great.

Jack and Peter had such a brilliant time this Easter and they were not too Easter bunny mad which was nice. We went to a friend's house for an egg hunt on Saturday afternoon, they searched for their hidden baskets on Sunday morning and had a great day at church, and then we rolled our painted eggs on Monday (my favourite part).

The weather has been stunning one minute and then a total down pour the next, but we have been running out to the park every time the sun puts his hat on!. It's been wonderful watching the babies so enjoy the outdoors as well. Sometimes when the boys play on the deck the babies sit and watch from inside...they are both pretty eager to join them.

Finally, I really love my cousin Nevada. She is a wonderful artist and one of the loveliest people I know...I miss her dearly. We used to say funny things like, "if we had been born in the same family we'd be twins!", and then pretend we were twins when we met someone we didn't know. Ha! Here are the wee twins in her gorgeous JoyNevada onesies...they will be 8 months tomorrow, pure mental!

BUT..Look at this!!! Isn't she just fantastic?! Nevada drew me with my sweet wee lovelies so I can hang this in their room. I am utterly in love with it. Notice the wee hint of my boys in the drawing too? If you want one of these done showing your own lovely family, go here!

The birth of the twins

On Monday, August 15th, I made my way up to the 2nd floor of the Providence hospital here in Newberg, hoping for some news of progression. I was now visiting my Obgyn every week, having just turned 37 weeks the day before.

After being checked I was only dilated 2 cm, but effaced 80%. I was feeling a little disappointed.

I had been terribly sick at the beginning of this pregnancy like my previous two, but as time had gone on I'd really felt pretty good and stayed very active with the boys throughout the pregnancy. Only in the 8 month did I start to really slow down and try and rest more, but I was still going to the park with the kids right up until the day before I had the babies.

Dr. J had expected the babies to come early. I had too. I'd even had some contractions around 28 weeks that were 5 mins apart that scared me a little into thinking they were going to come really early. But, after resting a wee bit I was fine again and back to regular activities for the most part....I still had 2 wee ones to look after though so I couldn't slow down too much. My mother-in-law had been staying with us since the beginning of July. She too thought the babies would be coming early. Now here I was 37 weeks and the babies were sitting plenty cozy.

My sister-in-law, Rachel, was married in Reno on August 13th. We didn't attend the wedding for fear of the babies arriving. Guess we should have gone. When Liz got back she told us the news that Chris had been offered a job in Wyoming. She would have to leave on the 23rd, a week away. What?! We'd had her there for almost 2 months and now when I was so close to the end she was going to have to leave. She had to go back to Georgia and pack their belongings for the move. This was my main motivation for asking Dr. J right there and then if I could be induced. I knew we would need the extra help at home with the boys and even if she was only there for a few days after I had the babies, it would help tremendously. I had already surpassed the goal in any multiple pregnancy, which is to make it to 35 weeks. Dr. Johnson was ready and willing to admit me later in the week if I wanted. I made the arrangement for Friday the 19th. After my experience of being induced with Jack, I was slightly nervous. But I was confident in my Dr. and the nurses. I'd had such a lovely experience giving birth to Peter in this same hospital. I was fairly uncomfortable and a little bit of a nervous wreck at times as I waited for that Friday morning to arrive. But, at the same time, I was desperate to get things going already...I was so anxious to meet our babies.

We were having a hard time narrowing our name list down that week, we both had a lot of girl names we liked. And although we both didn't mind each others suggestions, it was so difficult finding two names we both really loved. I was getting slightly worried, but before going to bed that night we decided on the name Penelope for one.

I hardly slept Thursday night and woke up around 5am to get showered and ready to leave. I stood at my bedroom mirror and took a few last pics of my enormous belly as I waited for Ryan to get out the shower. I was feeling very emotional at this point and so eager to meet them, but I also started questioning whether or not I should be forcing them out. But, no, it felt like it was time and I knew they had been in long enough for twins. I was tired, and heavy! I'd put on around 40 pounds with this pregnancy!

We left the boys and Liz still sleeping. We arrived at the main desk a few minutes after 6am and were greeted by two happy receptionists. The 'newbee' fumbled around on the computer and couldn't find my registration info, which had me nervous for a minute. But the other lady jumped in to take over and had me seated in a wheelchair within seconds, even though I felt ridiculous being pushed as I was perfectly capable of walking, but she insisted... in a very kind way. All the nurses and staff were ecstatic I was having twins. I was checked in by a nurse that was at the end of her shift, but by 8am, Pam, my new nurse had taken over and I totally and completely loved her. She was actually a visiting nurse from another hospital and was only on shift till 6pm, so I was desperately hoping to have the babies before she left; I like it to be kinda consistent as

far as nurses go when I'm in labour.

The pitocin was started about 9:30am and we did a lot of waiting around for any real progress. Around 1pm the Dr. came back in and although I was able to feel the contractions they were not painful at all. At this point I thought I might try and deliver without any medication. They did a quick ultrasound to check the position of Baby'A'. If she had been breach I would have been taken in for a C-Section, but she was head down. Her hand was up right by her face and the Dr. was scared that if he broke my water her hand would shoot straight up and then we'd have a really big problem. The dosage of pitocin was turned up and Dr. Johnson said he'd come back to break the water soon enough...I hoped her wee hand moved down quickly.

As time went by the contractions where becoming very strong and quite painful. Dr.J returned and checked the ultrasound again briefly. The hand was down and we were ready to break the first "bulging bag" as he called to it. He told Pam to be ready as there was going to be a lot of water. She had not anticipated just how bulging it really was and only hand two small towels. A huge gush, and water was everywhere. Dr. J laughed and said, "I told you!", as Pam panicked that she didn't have nearly enough towels. Ryan was called in and ran to get more towels from the cupboard to help out. I couldn't believe I still had another bag of water in there too, plus two babies, and two placentas!

Dr. J told me that he strongly advised me to have an epidural. 'Baby B' was breach and they would attempt to turn her...of course this was going to be extremely painful. I agreed to have it. The most lovely anesthesiologist came in and told me my spine was crooked! Hope that doesn't become a problem when I'm an old biddy! Anyway, the epidural was done and I was feeling fantastic. I could feel the wave of the contraction, but without the horrific pain. I thought things would maybe slow down now that I had the epidural in, but within less than an hour I suddenly felt the urge to push. Pam had changed into her scrubs to move me to the operating room, and as she entered I told her that I felt like I needed to push. She was shocked and quickly checked me.

She immediately grabbed the phone on her belt and called Dr. J, threw Ryan some scrubs to change into, and began calling on other nurses to help wheel my bed into the operating room. At this point it was 5pm. Nurses flew into the room, Dr.J appeared from nowhere, and I was slightly panicked myself. I was actually quite scared for a minute as I was being wheeled down the hall. As we entered the operating room, at least 8 other people bustled in behind us. Each baby had to have a peditrican there to tend to it immediately after the birth as well as a nurse.

Dr. J needed two nurses there to help him and another Obgyn in case he needed to do an emergency c-section for any reason and then, of course, I had Ryan by my side, as well as Pam. It was busy. But suddenly the chaos calmed right down and I felt fairly relaxed. They moved me quickly to another bed, and got my legs in the largest stirrups I've ever seen! There were bright lights everywhere; it really was a very different experience from the fairly intimate settings I'd had with the boys but I was grateful both myself and the babies were in capable hands.

Everything was ready and I began to push. It was so unbelievably fast. Within moments of pushing I saw the baby in my Dr.'s hands. The adrenaline rush, love, excitement, and a little smigion of fear hit me as I looked at her, this beautiful tiny wee thing that was wrapped in a towel and placed on my chest.

The first thing I exclaimed was , "Ryan! She has Peter's mouth!" I was so in awe of her perfection. (Now moments before we had entered the operating room Ryan and I had finally decided on the name Olive as another name...I really pushed for it and Ryan was kind enough to let me have it.) I knew this was Olive! I kinda just announced that this was her name without talking to Ryan about it! Ha. But he simply said, "oh, ok, Olive she is."

As much as I wanted to just be wheeled out at this point and hold my gorgeous baby, there was another wee one still to come.

The baby was taken from me to be cleaned and checked and I had to refocus. Pam encouraged me to concentrate on the next baby as Ryan went off with Olive for a moment(they were still in the same room as us).

Penelope was breach and initially Dr. Johnson thought he would maybe just go ahead and take her out feet first. But he decided to have me begin pushing and as I did he maneuvered her body around carefully. I was beyond grateful that I could not feel any of this. It was incredible to watch Dr. J and how calm and collected he stayed the entire time. He encouraged me as much as Ryan and Pam. Penny finally turned, but still wasn't descending down very quickly. He tried to get the suction cup on her head, but she wasn't having any of it! Ha. It didn't matter anyway, I gave another final big push and she appeared...looking very much like her big brother, Jack.

She didn't make a peep at first and I began to panic asking Pam repeatedly if she was okay. She assured me she was fine and then Penny erupted; full fledged screaming.

Again, I had an unbelievably perfect baby on my chest and I seriously couldn't believe it was happening...I don't know how many times I exclaimed, "Ah! We're having two babies!"throughout the pregnancy. It was crazy that we finally had them. After a few moments in my arms she was scooped up and taken to be cleaned and reunited with her sister after their 20 mins apart.

The delivery of the placentas was so easy and I even got a look at Penny's because all the nurses and Dr. J couldn't believe the size of it! I honestly do not know how women can carry more than two babies at a time.

A peditrian called Dr. Sweeny was there tending to one of the girls. He is from Boston and was hilarious. He kept saying, "They are beautiful, gorgeous! Ha, look at the size of 'Baby B', she'll knock the socks off of little 'Baby A'!" He was a bit of a nutter, but I really liked him.

I looked across the room to where the babies were being tended and there was Ryan being given one and then the other. Seeing him hold both the babies was so lovely. I'd had them with me for so long and now he was getting a wee shot of them.

After being wheeled back into our private, quite room, the babies were weighed and examined further. Dr. Johnson walked in, knelt by the side of my bed and asked if he could say a quick prayer. It was one of the most lovely prayers I have ever heard, and I so appreciated him thanking Heavenly Father that it had all gone so smoothly. What a lovely man he is.

At last both babies were brought back to me, swaddled and looking so tiny and beautiful. I latched both babies on and tried my hand and feeding them both at the same time. It was very challenging, but with the help of a gigantic nursing pillow we soon figured it out.

(Pam, my incredible nurse)

Within the hour Jack and Pete were brought up to meet their new sisters, as well as Liz, Callie, and Josh. It was great seeing the boys reactions to the twins. Peter was a little unsure about everything, but Jack was really desperate to get his hands on them right away.

Because I was the only woman in the ward giving birth that night the staff in the cafeteria sent up tons of food for me. So my boys, Ryan, and I all devoured the amazing food (it really is great at that hospital!) and then I was ready for a wee rest. The boys and rest of the family went home and Ryan stayed the night with me in the hospital. It was a long night, but thankfully the next day because we were all doing just fine my Doctor discharged us at 5pm Saturday. It was a really amazing delivery experience.

Olive Isabel Harris: 6lbs 10oz, 19 1/4 inches, born at 5:38pm.

Penelope Anne Harris: 6lbs 13oz, 19 3/8 inches, born at 5:58pm.

Peter's birth story

Peter was due June16th. When I found out I was pregnant with him it was crazy thinking that there was that slight possibility he could end up being born on Jack's birthday...it seemed so unlikely though. This pregnancy had been so much better. I was still very sick at the beginning, but I had been put on a medication called Zofran after my first appointment and instead of throwing up between 4-6 times a day it was reduced to twice at the very most. The months passed quickly, maybe because I was so distracted with taking care of Jack, but we were also house hunting. We were living in an apartment in Wilsonville, and I was seeing Dr. Schrinsky in the Meridian Park hospital in Tualatin. We closed on our house here in Newberg May 4th, so once again we were moving near the end of my pregnancy. Thankfully Ryan's family were living in Salem at the time (an hour away) and could help move us in. I decided that since I was so close to the end of the pregnancy that I would make the 30 minute commute to my hospital so I could stick with the same Dr. Well, after doing that 1 time with Jack in tow I decided that was kind of a nightmare and I talked to my Dr. about transferring to someone in Newberg. He recommended a friend of his, Dr. David Johnson.

I immediately thought Dr. Johnson was amazing and I was so glad I'd made the switch for convenience sake as well. Monday 8th, 2009, I went in for my weekly appointment and Dr.J said he could strip my membranes if I wanted to encourage labour. I agreed. It was so painful; I totally screamed. He had warned me it would hurt, but goodness, I wasn't expecting that kind of pain. Poor Jack was with me and looked horrified.

The Dr. thought there was a good chance I would go into labour that weekend, but if for some reason I didn't, we scheduled an induction for Monday 15th (Jack's birthday!).

Nothing happened at all that weekend and we had a wee get together to celebrate Jack's birthday on Sunday evening with a few friends we'd made since moving into our new ward. I felt sick with nerves all Sunday night and tried, but failed, to get much sleep. We were due to show up at the hospital around 7am and get the induction going, but around 4am I felt contractions begin as I lay in bed. I woke Ryan and by 4:30 they were 5 mins apart and I was ready to head to the hospital. Liz was staying with us to take care of Jack, so Ryan ran in to tell her we were heading in earlier than expected. In the car I was a little scared; I was so glad I'd switched to the closer hospital. We entered in at the Emergency entrance to the hospital because the main doors don't open till 6am. We were greeted by a worker who asked if we were the 7am induction. "Yes, but I'm in labour now!", I exclaimed. I didn't really want to dilly dally. Thankfully she grabbed a wheel-chair immediately, got me seated, and we were on our way to the maternity ward. I was already "checked-in" online, so everything went quickly. I was changed, in a nice private quiet room, and being checked by a nurse by a little after 5am. I was dilated to a 4 and completely effaced. Dr. J came in and talked to me while Ryan had stepped out for a minute...he hadn't met Ryan yet. I was monitored and left to progress for a little while. He would be back to check on me and break my water soon. I told Ryan to go get something to eat because I thought, based on my labour with Jack, that it would be a while before anything significant happened. He decided to wait till Dr. Johnson had come back and then he'd run out after. The day staff came on, which I was grateful for...I really wasn't too crazy about the nurse that had been tending to me. Trudy, my new nurse, was so lovely! She made me feel very comfortable and taken care of, but also gave Ryan and I our space.

By 7:30am Dr. J had returned; I was dilated to a 5 and he was ready to break my water. Ryan had gone to the bathroom, and came back into the room just before he broke the water. Dr. J turned around and said, "You do exist! I was beginning to wonder!" Hahaha!

The tools used to break the bag were a little terrifying, but it didn't hurt at all...all I felt was a huge gush. The nurse would call the Dr. when I got close to a 10, but for the time being he had patients to see in his offices on the other side of the building.

Ryan ran out quickly at this point to grab some breakfast and I was actually doing really well. Within the next half an hour I went from feeling fairly good to being in a great deal of pain with each contraction. Ryan wasn't back yet, and that had me worried. I asked for an epidural, but the nurse told me that at this point it may not be effective because I was dilating so quickly. I told her I wanted to try anyway. After I was given the epidural, Dr. J was called back in because I was at a 10. I honestly couldn't believe how quickly it had all happened compared to Jack's birth. Ryan came into the room looking very wide-eyed. He was shocked how quickly things had changed since he'd left. The epidural wasn't kicking in at all and so an oxygen mask was placed over my face as I struggled through each contraction. The anesthesiologist stood on my right and said "sorry" as he tried to numb my pain by injecting more medication. Ryan stood on my left side holding my hand. I felt so breathless even with the extra oxygen.

As I began pushing suddenly the epidural broke my pain. The nurse, Trudy, and my Dr. had to tell me when to push...I really couldn't feel much of anything. I didn't like that I couldn't at least feel the pressure of the contraction, but I'd take it. Peter was facing down as he came out and had to be turned, but after half an hour of pushing he was out (we had decided on his name just a few hours before...it hadn't ever been on our name list, but Ryan suggested it as one he liked a lot and I really did too)

.

Dr. J asked Ryan if he wanted to cut the cord, but he really didn't. I got a brief glimpse at my wee handsome guy and then Peter was taken off to be cleaned and weighed, etc. Ryan spent a few minutes over with Peter and then came over to make sure I was doing okay. Dr. Johnson brought Peter over to Ryan and I swaddled and clean. He had a tiny bit of bruising on his forehead, but he was so perfectly sweet.

(Nurse Trudy)

Liz brought Jack, the birthday boy, up to the hospital an hour or so later. When he walked in the room and saw me in the bed he backed away and began to cry a little. It broke my heart! I could tell he was very confused and he looked worried too. He has always been such a sensitive wee boy. After a few minutes of hiding behind the curtain in the room he came around and jumped into the bed with me. That very morning presents had arrived from my parents in Scotland for Jack, it was such perfect timing! Jack opened the presents and cheered right up...due to the fact there was lots of delicious chocolate inside and wee car toys. Ryan handed me the baby and Jack and I looked at his new baby brother together...it was a lovely moment.

I stayed in the hospital 2 nights, only because I thought it might be nice to have a little longer with just the baby. Jack was in good hands with Ryan and his mum.

Peter Chris Harris: 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches, born at 9:25am, 15th June, 2009

Jack's birth story

Jack's due date was June 21st. It had been a fairly rough pregnancy as I was very sick and teaching full-time at Forbes Elementary in American Fork. I remember throwing up numerous times in front of the kids in my class and I could barely keep any food down for the first 25 weeks. I had a little break in the middle where I felt pretty good, but then I began to throw up again periodically during the last month or so. Ryan was in law school at BYU and we were a little concerned about money as I planned on quitting at the end of my school year to be home full-time with Jack. We had been living in Union Square(married housing)for the majority of the pregnancy, but then at the end of April '07 we moved to Wymount (BYU housing)...it was slightly cheaper, but gave us an extra room which was what we really needed.

The ward there was pretty nice and we had some grassy space/a park out front that I looked forward to spending time on with Jack.

My brother, Euan, cousin, David Rae, and friend, Jamie Munro, were coming over to travel around a wee bit in the States at the end of May through the middle of June. About a week before I went into labour, I drove up to SLC by myself and met them at the Christus statue in the visitors center. It was such a great day and we toured around all the sights for around 6-8 hours. By the end of the day I was very tired and just as I was leaving the bathroom in the visitors center before I drove home, I started having severe cramping. I was so nervous about driving back myself, but I managed just fine. That next week I had a couple of pains here and there, but on the whole I felt totally normal.

On Thursday (14th), the boys came down to Provo to stay the night with us before heading to Vegas for the weekend. We ate out at Cafe Rio and watched a film at night before everyone hit the sack. I asked everyone to hold off taking a shower in the morning till Ryan had taken one as he was going into work the following morning. It was around 12:30pm that night that I went to the bathroom, threw up, and then my water broke. I grabbed a towel and went back to our bedroom to tell Ryan that I wouldn't stop leaking (at this point I guess I wasn't positive that my water had actually broken). I grabbed our phone and called my mum for advice, while Ryan grabbed his laptop and starting looking up pregnancy stuff on the internet....haha...what a sight we must have been. After talking to my mum for only a few moments she told me to call the hospital and then go in. Thankfully I had only just finished gathering a bag of supplies together for the hospital a few days prior, so we were able to leave quickly. I tried to climb over the sleeping boys in my living room (jamie was in the bedroom though), with a towel between my legs! Good grief. I woke Euan up and told him I was going to the hospital. He was in a daze, but I got a "GOODLUCK" and a "thumbs up" from him and David before we left. (I found out from Euan later that because I had asked the boys not to use the shower until Ryan had been in due to early work, that Jamie had been sitting in his room waiting for ages wondering when the devil Ryan was going to shower! Ha. He had no idea we were off having a baby!)

I had checked in with Utah Valley Hospital a couple of weeks before, so that when I went into labour it was faster. We were able to go directly to the maternity ward where they only had me wait a minute or so before taking me into a room to check if in fact my water had actually broken. Immediately the test strip came back blue meaning that it was my amniotic fluid. But when checked I was only dilated to a 1....annoying. They started me off on pitocin around 1:30am, but I was warned that I was likely to be in for a long night. Ryan tried to sleep a little on the uncomfortable couch that was in my room and I tried to sleep some too. I managed for a few hours, before I was suddenly woken up by sharp pains shooting through my abdomen. I woke Ryan and he got the nurse in to check me. I was dilated a little more, but only to a 4. They told me that when I got to a 5 I could have an epidural if I wanted. I did. Thankfully it didn't take too long before I was at a 5 and then they called in the anesthesiologist. He was not very friendly.and he scared me to death by telling me that if I moved even slightly as he was putting the needle in that I could cause major damage to my back. Great. I was already nervous about the size of the needle....I never actually saw it but Ryan said it was huge. I lay on my side as he put it in and tried not to move a muscle and I cried. When he was finished he left immediately and I was abandoned for a couple of hours. Getting the epidural didn't hurt, but instead of numbing the pain I suddenly started to feel numbing in my face and down my right side only. When I nurse returned she told me that she would have the anesthesiologist come back in and give me the epidural again.....I wasn't sure about that idea. Then almost immediately my legs turned to blobs of jelly and I couldn't move them at all, but still I had all the pain of labour in my stomach that was not numb. I started to panic and told Ryan over and over again that I did not want the epidural anymore...too late for that! He kinda didn't have a clue what to say to me at that point other than that there was nothing to be done about it now. He tried pressing the button a few times to get the epidural medicine to kill the labour pains, but it did nothing. After 11 LONG hours in the hospital, the new morning staff had come on, who were so much nicer, and they checked my progress again. Finally, I was dilated to 10 and I was ready to deliver.

Throughout my entire pregnancy I had never seen the same Dr. more than once. I didn't like that.

With no Doctor in sight I began with the aid of a veteran nurse and her student nurse to push the baby out. The student nurse was really great actually. She stood by my side and was very encouraging. Ryan didn't really know what to do...he looked as scared as me and had his camera in hand to take a few pics and a video. They kept saying, "push down through your bottom", which I wasn't fond of. Then a doctor I had never seen before came flying into the room. He asked one of the nurses to grab a mirror so I could see what was happening and then we proceeded. I wasn't entirely sure I even wanted to see what was going on. His name was Dr. Kent Gamette and he was a very nice older man, and had obviously delivered a lot of babies. He asked if he could cut me a tiny bit in order to prevent tearing, so in the moment I agreed, but I'm not sure if I really should have. It was very small though...on a scale of 1-10 it was a 1. I only pushed for 40 minutes before the head crowned. I could see it in the mirror...it was very surreal and bizarre. Ryan was still making a video which I thought I might regret later (I do and don't...I was bawling when I watched it back). The doctor told Ryan, who had been by my side the whole time, to come down beside him. He got there just in time to see baby Jack slip right out. The doctor held him upside down and said, "what do we have here?".....I was like, "um, it's a boy", we already knew that...but he just wanted to hear me say it I guess. They asked if Ryan wanted to cut the cord, but he really didn't so they took Jack away to clean him up and weigh/measure him.

Ryan stayed close by the nurse to watch and take pictures. I still had to deliver the placenta...which I had not thought about at all. This was actually very painful. He pressed very hard on my lower abdomen, it was only briefly, but I started to cry again. I felt the placenta fall out of my body and then the Dr. began to stitch me up. Ryan was holding Jack now and brought him over to me.

The minute I took him in my arms I became very overwhelmed again. He started to cry and I panicked for a second as I tried to soothe him, but he calmed down quickly and Ryan and I were in complete awe of him. I had heard the nurses as they were cleaning him, "his hair is red, no it's brown, no it's blonde!" I thought, good grief decide on a colour people...but it was fluffy and blonde. He honestly looked like a baby chick. His wee face was so sweet and I was very smitten with him right away.

I called my family in Scotland right away to tell them the news...my poor mum had been dying to find out what was going on being so far away. Then we had visitors a few hours later...the Guisti's came, the Claytons, and Ryan's sister, Rachel, and Uncle Jim and Aunt Julie. It was nice to have some family there with us. I stayed in the hospital for 2 nights before heading home. When we got home Sunday afternoon we relaxed and enjoyed Jack. The boys returned on Monday from Vegas to see baby Jack (I had such a hard time with them leaving), and Ryan's mum had arrived that same day to stay with us for the week and help out.

Jack Alan Harris: 7lbs 3 oz,19 1/2 inches, born at 12.47pm, 15th June, 2007.

End of Feb

Some more brief happenings...this may become a trend.

-The twin lovelies started rice cereal last week shortly after turning 6 months old. Today for lunch it was sweet potatoes. They are thoroughly enjoying eating from a spoon.

As always I'm feeling all sad about how fast they are growing, but at the same time enjoying this 'rolling, laughing, blethering, grabbing, sitting and playing with toys' stage immensely. I didn't think I'd get much use out of my massive nursing pillow once they got too big to lie on it, but it's been great. They take turns sitting in the middle of it and have tons of wee toys within reach.

-Every Sunday I feel like I've just done some intense workout by the time I get to the church building...and that's just getting there, good grief! Thankfully since the time has changed to 11:30am it's not quite as crazy.

I watch all the wee kids causing havoc at the back of the RS room during the 3rd hr and I get a wee lump in my throat thinking about my future in there with the babies....pure madness! And I just got extended a calling after my 8 month hiatus!

-Poor Jack, he desperately wants to live in Scotland so he can be close to his cousins. He asks EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. if we can go to Scotland so that he can play with them...he's really concerned with finding out what kind of toys Samuel and Isaac have ( my brother, John's boys). Ryan's youngest sister, Callie, is expecting her first baby in the middle of April, so he'll get his first cousin here in the States, however, Jack was really disappointed that it wasn't a boy...he's over it now and seems to be fairly excited to meet baby Zoe. I know I am.

-A week ago today was Pancake Day/Shrove Tuesday. Jack and Peter were ecstatic about getting to help make the pancakes and eat them for dinner. I found a great recipe in a cooking book I use a lot...they were the most delicious pancakes I've ever made. Ryan was working late that night and missed out, but we ended up making them again two more times that week because they were so good! Ha.

Valentine's Day

This Valentine's Day ....

we made each other lovely cards, played with our new super heroes, watched some Disney Valentine's cartoons, smelled some sweet red roses, ate delicious Abby's Heart shaped pizza, and played with two happy and then very fussy wee babies.

Here are my lovelies:

Hope your day was special.

Goings on.

I have sat down at the computer umpteen times over the last few days with the determination to produce at least a brief post....either a wee one is suddenly in desperate need of my help or I feel guilty thinking about the state my house is in, etc and shut it off. Seldom do I post any more because ...well, you know, life is busy, but I am anxious to get at it again. It's important to document and I vow to try and be better.

Here are some random quick thoughts and happenings:

-The twin lovelies haven't been terribly well, just a horrid cold that is causing many sleepless nights...6 to be exact. I thought I was coping with the sleep deprivation fairly well until yesterday, then it hit me hard and I felt my feet dragging all day. By the late evening I cried it out. Sometimes I figure it's best to join when the babies are having a good bawl.

- Jack is learning to read. It's wonderful seeing him light up when he recognizes a word in a book we are reading. Peter is learning along with him and is actually the one giving Jack a prompt if he forgets a word....he says, "Great job buddy!", whenever Jack gets one right. I am really loving the great best friend relationship they have.

- A couple of weeks ago I started exercising everyday. I don't really care to discuss the details of this because it's kind of boring, but I wanted to note my absolute favourite part which comes at the end of the work-out. Without fail Peter will say, "You did it Mummy? You're finished?! YIPPIE!" His voice is so excitable, it is just about the funniest thing ever.

- The twin lovelies are 5 1/2 months and just wonderful. They are sitting (although still a wee bit wobbly), rolling everywhere, standing against furniture, and killing themselves laughing at all the mental things my wee boys are doing. Olive particularly enjoys watching the boys have a good wrestle and gets a kick out of seeing Jack jump...she may not be so mellow after all.

- Ryan got to argue a case at the supreme court in Salem, Oregon last month. We were very proud of him...he did a really good job. I, however, was a basket case of nerves as I watched the recording of it online. I was pretty annoyed at one judge that was trying to challenge Ryan a lot, but, of course, that's what they do. It wasn't exactly personal or anything, but I was definitely feeling defensive as I watched it. Ha!

- I said in a post not to long ago that I was "finding myself" again and coming out of the "initial haze" after having the babies. I was really kidding myself. The reality of my new life has been slowly creeping up on me....and let me say this, I truly love this family of mine, but life has become completely, totally, and utterly overwhelming at times.

When the babies were almost 2 months old a dear sweet lady from my ward who had come to help me a number of times made a very innocent comment that catapulted me into a place that really had me struggling and panicked. "The babies are 2 months now, so you should be totally fine now, right?", she said.

I'm pretty sure when I replied with a confident, "yes", I was trying to convince myself more than her that I'd be alright. But I was secretly dying off inside. I don't like the idea of being needy. Really though, most people don't, it's not like I'm the first mother to think I can take on everything and anything.

While I was pregnant with the twins I committed to myself that I would accept the help of those that offered it. Everyone told me that the one piece of advice they could give me was to let people help. So, I did. Most people that offered never actually followed through....that's fine...people have lives and are plenty busy. I had some dear friends that were so kind and helped a lot particularly with the boys. But I also had expectations for myself and I thought I'd be pretty much back to "normal", what ever that is, and taking it all in my stride within a matter of months. I really wanted to just do it all myself again and be successful at it. And I kinda don't think that's such a bad thing either. I mean I have 4 wee kids and I'm their mum, I need to figure it all out and get adjusted to it soon enough. But, goodness my expectations were high! I absolutely thought I was capable of getting everything taken care of around my house every day, that I'd have wonderful positive relationships with everyone, and I'd be a fun, creative mum to my wee lovelies.

To make a long story short, it's taken me longer than it probably should have to learn the need to be more patient with myself. Reading and studying from some of the best books and exercising have been key to my current sane state of mind. Ha. It's going to take many years before I feel like I've got a handle on things around here, but I am making more confident strides towards getting there.